I thought it was time to give you some observations I've made about Brazil and the people of Belo Horizonte. Since I'm living half way round the world, you would expect some cultural differences from the UK but wow something's are just too different. Right lets begin:
1)You know when you are listening to your IPod, walking down the street, occasionally singing to yourself (or in my case dancing on a drunken walk home), the second you see someone, you stop immediately out of embarrassment, praying that this stranger ( who you've never met before and will probably never see again) didn't hear you and isn't silently judging you. Well in Brazil, they are completely the opposite. When singing down the street, they have no shame whatsoever. I once walked past a guy in his mid 20's, proudly blasting out his rendition of Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie". Brazilians have no shame or maybe we British are just too reserved? Well while I'm here I'm going to test this theory. Let's see how the Brazilians respond to my Grease Megamix or the true love song of "Who the **** is Alice?" I'll keep you posted but I'm sure it will go down a treat.
2) As I'm sure I've explained before, Brazil is the most bureaucratic country ever. They just can't get enough of bureaucracy and paperwork. Getting something done quickly or easily is like pulling blood from a stone. Nearly impossible unless you have some sort of family connection which (judging by the size of most Brazilian families) is everyone but me (Mr Gringo).
When we arrived at the university, we were told that in order to enrol we had to get a type of identification card at the Federal Police. SO in true Brazilian fashion, we make an appointment online, fill out application forms, print them off, get copies of passports, visas, etc, pay our fees at the bank and then finally go to the police station across town for our appointments. The girls and I had appointments at 12, 12.30 and 1pm so we went together and arrived at 11.15, just to make sure we were on time. Well apparently making an appointment doesn't mean anything. We all got seen an hour late because some old man from Portugal I believe was kicking up a fuss. He was asking why he had to wait when his son's brother-in-law's mother's aunt's cousin's daughter's hairdresser's niece worked there and family shouldn't have to wait. Anyway eventually I got seen to and I thought it would be a quick 20 minute appointment, asked a few questions and I'd get my ID card. Well I'm sure that is what would've happened if I hadn't been seen by Office Barbie - the most incompetent woman I've ever met. Just to point out, this appointment is very important because if you don't get this ID card within 30 days of arriving to Brazil, you get deported. So understandably I was a little stressed and worried that my paperwork was fine. She got all my documents, spent about 20 minutes crossing things out and asked me one question of "Where you from?". She then stood up and walked off. There I was thinking "I'm getting deported" because she hadn't come back for about 15 minutes. I look down the corridor and there she is, chatting to her friend about how lovely her top is and what she is going to do with her boyfriend that weekend (Eavesdropping is the one advantage of being a gringo. No one expects you to understand Portuguese! )
Anyway when she finally came back, she asked me to go to the man in the next cubicle to get my fingerprints taken. All was going well until my right index finger which apparently doesn't have a recognisable fingerprint. The man spent a good 10 minutes pressing my finger on to this machine, then inferred that my finger was dirty (Great. I come across as a nose picker. Lovely. I was not impressed at all.) Eventually he found a fingerprint and I was allowed to go. All this hassle for a piece of paper which now means that I can now be arrested for crimes in Brazil. Not exactly a great incentive. I'm not saying I'm a criminal but now robbing a bank and starting a drug cartel in the favelas is just out of the question. So inconsiderate. However, I now know that if I do want to commit any crimes, as long as I just use my right index finger, I'm in the clear. :)
3) Brazilians love tattoos. The majority of people here have tattoos and they are not your typical Croydon-esque tramp stamp or the misguided tattoo of an ex's name who you know never speak to anymore but people's tattoos (that I've seen here) are genuinely like pieces of art on skin. So here's one I've decided I'm going to get. I just hope my parents like it. Ann and Big Dave this is for you! :)
4) Once again going back to the bureaucracy of Brazil, it really confuses me. Its so strange that a country that is for recycling, saving the environment and stopping deforestation of the Amazon, they sure do have ridiculous amounts of paperwork. I had to print off over 10 pieces of paper for my Police form whilst one was actually used. And even then Miss Incompetence just scribbled all over it. Come on Brazil, we can stop blaming McDonald's for deforestation now, we know its all you.
5) Brazilians can sleep anywhere. Especially during the heat of the day, you see lots of builders etc just sleeping in the weirdest places. On the pavement, on walls, in makeshift hammocks, when I was in Rio, I saw a man sleeping on a pile of bricks......on top of a moving van. I'm not going to lie, I was very impressed.
6) Now some of you may have noticed that in the beginning of my posts I have written "Oi gente!" which translates as "Hi everyone!" in Portuguese. It is still strange to me that Brazilians use "Oi" as hello here. The first few weeks you are here, you are constantly thinking that people are pissed off with you or that you've done something wrong because you have "OI" yelled at you left, right and centre. Also no one here can understand that saying Oi can be quite aggressive in English but oh well. I think if I bring this back to the UK though, I may have some problems. "Lost in translation" probably wouldn't stop me from getting a beating.
7) One thing I have learnt whilst on my year abroad is that pronunciation is crucial to learning any language. The girls and I realised this last week whilst Victoria and I were in our Brazilian history class. Somehow during the class the word "pau" was brought up. Now this has a very similar pronunciation to the word "pão" which means bread. We were confused what the word meant until we were finally told that it was quite a rude word. It suddenly dawned on us that when we ordered a "pão de queijo" every day at the uni cafeteria, and because we normally asked for it quickly, it was being pronounced as "pau de queijo". And sometimes I had received some very weird looks which I didn't understand until now:
Instead of asking for a "cheese bread" every morning like I thought I was, I was actually asking for a "cheese cock" instead. This explains some shocked looks and looks of disapproval that the cafeteria women seemed to only reserve for me. Pronunciation 1 : Andrew 0
So moral of the story: Practice your pronunciation kids.
Well that's everything I can think of right now. I hope you enjoyed it and I'll fill you in with more observations and stories soon. I've got a lot of trips planned for the next few weeks so I'm sure there will be many posts to follow!
Andy C
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