Learning your "pão" from your "pau"

Hello everyone!

I thought it was time to give you some observations I've made about Brazil and the people of Belo Horizonte. Since I'm living half way round the world, you would expect some cultural differences from the UK but wow something's are just too different. Right lets begin:

1)You know when you are listening to your IPod, walking down the street, occasionally singing to yourself (or in my case dancing on a drunken walk home), the second you see someone, you stop immediately out of embarrassment, praying that this stranger ( who you've never met before and will probably never see again) didn't hear you and isn't silently judging you. Well in Brazil, they are completely the opposite. When singing down the street, they have no shame whatsoever. I once walked past a guy in his mid 20's, proudly blasting out his rendition of  Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie". Brazilians have no shame or maybe we British are just too reserved? Well while I'm here I'm going to test this theory. Let's see how the Brazilians respond to my Grease Megamix or the true love song of "Who the **** is Alice?" I'll keep you posted but I'm sure it will go down a treat.

2) As I'm sure I've explained before, Brazil is the most bureaucratic country ever. They just can't get enough of bureaucracy and paperwork. Getting something done quickly or easily is like pulling blood from a stone. Nearly impossible unless you have some sort of family connection which (judging by the size of most Brazilian families) is everyone but me (Mr Gringo).

When we arrived at the university, we were told that in order to enrol we had to get a type of identification card at the Federal Police. SO in true Brazilian fashion, we make an appointment online, fill out application forms, print them off, get copies of passports, visas, etc, pay our fees at the bank and then finally go to the police station across town for our appointments. The girls and I had appointments at 12, 12.30 and 1pm so we went together and arrived at 11.15, just to make sure we were on time. Well apparently making an appointment doesn't mean anything. We all got seen an hour late because some old man from Portugal I believe was kicking up a fuss. He was asking why he had to wait when his son's brother-in-law's mother's aunt's cousin's daughter's hairdresser's niece worked there and family shouldn't have to wait. Anyway eventually I got seen to and I thought it would be a quick 20 minute appointment, asked a few questions and I'd get my ID card. Well I'm sure that is what would've happened if I hadn't been seen by Office Barbie - the most incompetent woman I've ever met. Just to point out, this appointment is very important because if you don't get this ID card within 30 days of arriving to Brazil, you get deported. So understandably I was a little stressed and worried that my paperwork was fine. She got all my documents, spent about 20 minutes crossing things out and asked me one question of "Where you from?". She then stood up and walked off. There I was thinking "I'm getting deported" because she hadn't come back for about 15 minutes. I look down the corridor and there she is, chatting to her friend about how lovely her top is and what she is going to do with her boyfriend that weekend (Eavesdropping is the one advantage of being a gringo. No one expects you to understand Portuguese! )

Anyway when she finally came back, she asked me to go to the man in the next cubicle to get my fingerprints taken. All was going well until my right index finger which apparently doesn't have a recognisable fingerprint. The man spent a good 10 minutes pressing my finger on to this machine, then inferred that my finger was dirty (Great. I come across as a nose picker. Lovely. I was not impressed at all.) Eventually he found a fingerprint and I was allowed to go. All this hassle for a piece of paper which now means that I can now be arrested for crimes in Brazil. Not exactly a great incentive. I'm not saying I'm a criminal but now robbing a bank and starting a drug cartel in the favelas is just out of the question. So inconsiderate. However, I now know that if I do want to commit any crimes, as long as I just use my right index finger, I'm in the clear. :)

3) Brazilians love tattoos. The majority of people here have tattoos and they are not your typical Croydon-esque tramp stamp or the misguided tattoo of an ex's name who you know never speak to anymore but people's tattoos (that I've seen here) are genuinely like pieces of art on skin.  So here's one I've decided I'm going to get. I just hope my parents like it.  Ann and Big Dave this is for you! :)

(I may be 21 years old but I still think my mum would kill me if I got this tattoo!)

4) Once again going back to the bureaucracy of Brazil, it really confuses me. Its so strange that a country that is for recycling, saving the environment and stopping deforestation of the Amazon, they sure do have ridiculous amounts of paperwork. I had to print off over 10 pieces of paper for my Police form whilst one was actually used. And even then Miss Incompetence just scribbled all over it. Come on Brazil, we can stop blaming McDonald's for deforestation now, we know its all you.

5) Brazilians can sleep anywhere. Especially during the heat of the day, you see lots of builders etc just sleeping in the weirdest places. On the pavement, on walls, in makeshift hammocks, when I was in Rio, I saw a man sleeping on a pile of bricks......on top of a moving van. I'm not going to lie, I was very impressed.

6) Now some of you may have noticed that in the beginning of my posts I have written "Oi gente!" which translates as "Hi everyone!" in Portuguese. It is still strange to me that Brazilians use "Oi" as hello here. The first few weeks you are here, you are constantly thinking that people are pissed off with you or that you've done something wrong because you have "OI" yelled at you left, right and centre. Also no one here can understand that saying Oi can be quite aggressive in English but oh well. I think if I bring this back to the UK though, I may have some problems. "Lost in translation" probably wouldn't stop me from getting a beating.

7) One thing I have learnt whilst on my year abroad is that pronunciation is crucial to learning any language. The girls and I realised this last week whilst Victoria and I were in our Brazilian history class. Somehow during the class the word "pau" was brought up. Now this has a very similar pronunciation to the word "pão" which means bread. We were confused what the word meant until we were finally told that it was quite a rude word. It suddenly dawned on us that when we ordered a "pão de queijo" every day at the uni cafeteria, and because we normally asked for it quickly, it was being pronounced as "pau de queijo". And sometimes I had received some very weird looks which I didn't understand until now:

Instead of asking for a "cheese bread" every morning like I thought I was, I was actually asking for a "cheese cock" instead.  This explains some shocked looks and looks of disapproval that the cafeteria women seemed to only reserve for me.  Pronunciation 1 : Andrew 0

So moral of the story: Practice your pronunciation kids.


Well that's everything I can think of right now. I hope you enjoyed it and I'll fill you in with more observations and stories soon. I've got a lot of trips planned for the next few weeks so I'm sure there will be many posts to follow!

Andy C

"Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl..."

Mountain behind our apartment

Oi gente! Hello everyone!

So 2 weeks ago I went to Rio. Wow. It is so difficult to describe how incredible a city it is. It has absolutely everything you could want. Beautiful beaches, amazing nightlife, friendly people, the list goes on and on. Having only 4 days there just wasn't enough to even experience an 1/100th of Rio but what I did experience was unbelievable. Right so my weekend:

Right so Victoria, Emily and I got a bus from good old Belo Horizonte on Thursday night at half 10. When we got on the bus, I was shocked. There I was expecting a Megabus but actually the seats all had pillow head rests, air con, lots of space. We were living a life of luxury compared to normal buses in Brazil. I was excited to have a nice sleep and wake up in Rio......well, that was until I remembered what country I was in. Remember how crazy I said the buses were here? Well this was no exception. We were bombing down mountain roads in the dark at like 100mph, overtaking petrol tankers on tiny mountain passes, bags were falling down on peoples heads from the racks and more than once whilst finally drifting off, I was literally lifted off my seat, going over some bump. It felt more like one of those rollercoaster simulators than actual public transport.  Anyway enough ranting for one post.

So about 4am, we arrived in Rio. All the roads to Rio are up in the mountains so suddenly after passing through a very dodgy tunnel, Rio de Janeiro just jumps out at you. We had an amazing view of the city from our bus of doom and the skyline view was at least a nice distraction from the dangerously close cliff edges. We arrived at the bus station and got a taxi to our apartment which was 1 block away from Copacabana beach (I can literally taste your jealousy and it is delicious), had a few hours kip and hit the beach. After a few hours of swimming, tanning ourselves and just relaxing in the amazing weather (I believe it was snowing back home??? :P Ok I'll stop now.) we decided to head in to town to get some sightseeing done. We went to a place called Lapa to visit the Escadaria Selarón,  the famous tiled steps created by artist Jorge Selarón who spent decades tiling the steps outside his house as "a gift to the Brazilian people". They truly are amazing and a must see in Rio.

That night we decided to go out clubbing in Lapa. We got a cab to the centre of Lapa and arrived outside a huge strip of very busy clubs. It was exactly like Zante, Kavos, [insert random Greek island] etc and I was absolutely buzzing. We call Victoria's brother but it turns out we are in the wrong place so we jump back in to the cab. We arrive 5 minutes later to a place which Victoria fairly described as looking like a "crack den". To be honest, whilst she thought crack den, I just thought of West Croydon on a Saturday night. We'll anyway it turns out that this creepy crack den turned out to be a really cool underground club. It played the weirdest mixture of music from classic rock, indie, samba and Brazilian rap. From what I understood of the Brazilian rap, the majority of songs were about football and Carnival. Figures. Very odd but there were selling 3 beers for R$13. That's about £4 so I was a very happy chappie.

Train up Corcovado mountain

The next morning we got up early and got a bus to go see Cristo Rendentor or Christ the Redeemer (the big Jesus!). We had to queue for ages to get a cable car up the mountain Corcovado but eventually we went up. It took about 20 minutes and the views from there were incredible. That was until I reached the top. Wow. It was incredible but not one for those who are afraid of heights. It was really windy that day and I can honestly say I know what its like to live in a cloud. We were so high up we had to waiting for the clouds to pass because we literally couldn't see anything! We finally pushed through all the people and took the classic tourist pose but it was worth all the waiting. It has to definitely be one the best experiences I've had and its one less thing on the bucket list!

That evening we went to Ipanema beach to watch the sunset, went out for dinner and had picanha (huge Brazilian style steak, rice and beans) and ended up drinking Caipirinhas at a bar on Copacabana beach. It was moments like this that made me think of all of my friends who were studying really hard, pulling all-nighters, working on dissertations, doing work placements, applying for grad schemes.......wait I've forgotten what I was saying I'm so bored. Now back to my interesting life. (I kid, I kid.....well mostly!)

Sunday was an extremely strange but incredible day in Rio. Charlie , Victoria's brother and his girlfriend Helen used to work with a woman called Giselli who had moved back to Brazil and lived in the outskirts of Rio. We had been invited to a party at her house so we got on a bus and headed out of town. When we arrived at the party, we suddenly realised that it was Giselli's fathers 70th birthday party. And we had just gatecrashed. The gringos had arrived. Instead of being silently judged and ignored like most English people would have done, we were welcomed in with open arms and quickly plied with copious amounts of alcohol and food. We got shown to a table and within 30 seconds, we had filled glasses of beer and a massive plate full of churrasco (Brazilian BBQ). It is easily some of the best meat I have ever tasted in my life.  At one point, an uncle of the family gave me a litre beer, went away for two minutes and asked me if I wanted a new beer. He said he was just making sure that I had a beer. Brazilian families are so hospitable and Giselli's family could not have made us feel more welcome.

This was within 5 minutes of arriving.

Churrasco!

The girls with Zaca, the Birthday Boy.

Well having arrived at around 5pm and being constantly plied with alcohol and food, by about 7pm I was definitely feeling on the merry side. This is turn made me believe that dancing to the live samba band was the best idea in the world. I joined the family who I barely knew and showed them how Samba was really done : British style. This is turn led the band's singer to include the lyrics "the gringo on the dancefloor" in his song, but by this point I was enjoying myself too much so had little time for embarrassment. It was incredible to really experience how the Brazilians party and see what Rio life is like outside of Copacabana and the tourist traps. And I've got to say it was phenomenal.

Well that's about it from my Rio adventure. I'll post again really soon because I have so many  observations about Brazil to tell you about! Enjoy the pictures!

P.S Just a quick thank you to all of you for reading my blog. Finally had over 1000 views and it is very much appreciated!

Andy C